


Rewrite The Stars

by thefingergunsgirl



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, remus is THE BEST brother, roman's parents are not great, wedding fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25148191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefingergunsgirl/pseuds/thefingergunsgirl
Summary: Roman should be happy. He was marrying the love of his life today, but all he could think about was the space where his brother should be.OR: On Roman and Virgil's Wedding Day, Roman still has a lot of feelings about his family
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 13
Kudos: 128





	Rewrite The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: homophobic parents, panic attacks

Roman is supposed to be happy. He’s marrying the love of his life in a few hours. He should be over the moon.

But his parents aren’t here. They haven’t come and it’s been hours. Roman sent them both a paper and a digital invite. They have to come.

Next to him, his best man Emilie is fiddling with his tie. Emile has been amazing throughout the past few weeks and Roman hates how part of him still wishes the man across from him had electric green hair and an atrocious suit on. Remus should be here, making dumb jokes about his sex life that Roman would pretend to hate.

But Remus doesn’t even know he’s gay, let alone that he’s getting married.

“You excited Roman?” Emile says after pulling on his jacket.

“Yeah,” Roman says, but he can’t stop staring at the door.

Roman fiddles with his cuff links. He’s wearing a white suit with red and gold lining. He and Virgil agreed not to see each other’s suits until the wedding.

_Don’t think about your parents, Don’t think about how they sent you to therapy for weeks after you came out, they’ll show up._

“Hey Roman, you’re phone buzzed, I think it’s a text from your mom.”

“Oh she, must be late, can you pass me my phone?” Emile doesn’t look so sure, but he passes Roman his phone anyway.

Roman frowns, all his mom sent him was a link to a Facebook post. He clicked it.

It was a rant. From his parents. With a video of them burning a pride flag along with his wedding invite. They were telling all his relatives to disown him. They were calling him all the slurs in the book. He was the family disappointment. Roman was a disgrace. Roman was mentally ill. He was defacing the institution of marriage.

He’d done the worst thing imaginable to his parents and he is unforgivable.

Roman closed his eyes, and all he could think about is how is parents weren’t coming. His mom had promised that she’d be here. When he was a little boy his mom held his hand and told him one day she’d be in the front row cheering him on.

Roman feels like he can’t breathe. His parents don’t love him, and they aren’t coming. He and his brother fell out of touch five years ago. He’s alone, he’s worthless he’s useless, he can’t even breathe.

The room seems to spin as Roman tries and fails to take in oxygen.

“Hey, Roman I need you to breathe with me.” Roman doesn’t want to.

“Roman you need to breathe with me,” Emile says, and he starts a breathing exercise but Roman doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want reason and rationality. He wants his fiancé’s strong arms around him. He wants to smell ink and vanilla and home. He wants Virgil to rest his head on top of Roman’s and tell him it’s all going to be ok.

“Get Virgil,” Roman chokes out, and he hates himself. He’s ruining their wedding, there’s no more surprise, he’s making Virgil deal with a panic attack on their wedding day. He’s supposed to be happy today, but instead, he can’t breathe. The black spots spin around his eyes, and Roman is shaking so hard. The tears leak out of his eyes and drip down his cheeks.

Roman and hear a door crack open and suddenly big warm arms are pulling him to a chest. The smell of vanilla floods is senses. _Virgil._ Roman chokes on a sob and Virgil rubs his back.

“Hey there Princey,” Virgil says softly, “Can you name five things you can see for me?”

“I c-can’t,” Roman stutters. He just wants everything to stop. Maybe this is it, this is how he dies.

Virgil stays calm while Roman breaks, “Please, Ro? For me?” Virgil asks, and Roman tries because he would do anything for Virgil.

“Uh shoes,” Roman starts, and Virgil nods in approval, “Closet, light, doorknob, umm, phone,”

“Nice Job,” Virgil says, and Roman can feel his heartbeat slow and steady, “Four things you can feel,”

“You,” Roman says, “tears, pants, …” He trailed off, breathing was getting harder and he can’t stop thinking about his mom.

Virgil doesn’t mind, he just squeezes the back of Roman’s neck and prompts him to keep going.

“Uh, my hair in my face,” Roman finishes.

“You’re doing amazing,” Virgil says, “Three things you can hear?”

Roman can feel his heart rate start to slow, and it’s becoming easier to focus on his surroundings.

“Two things you can smell?” Virgil asks.

“Vanilla and lavender,” Roman says.

“Good, one thing you can taste?”

“Saliva?” Roman says and Virgil nods. His breathing is close to normal and he doesn’t feel like he’s dying anymore. Maybe it’s just the haze after a panic attack, but Roman cannot stop thinking about how hot Virgil is. He can’t believe he gets to marry him. Even after four years he still can’t believe Virgil has stuck around. He can’t believe he gets to fall asleep and wake up next to him. Sometimes he feels like he loves this man so much his heart might just burst.

Virgil pulls Roman against his chest and whispers, “Nice job Sir sing-a-lot,”

Roman makes a sound of happiness and leans into his fiancé embrace. He’s pretty sure a life of hugging Virgil would be perfectly fine with him.

“Hey Ro?” Virgil says hesitantly.

“Mhm?” Roman hums back.

“Do you not want to get married?” Virgil asks, and Roman’s brain short circuits for a few seconds because what the actual fuck.

Virgil takes his silence as a yes and keeps rambling, “Roman you don’t have to protect me or anything. It’s okay if you don’t want to get married. I just… why didn’t you tell me? You had a panic attack and everything Ro. Please talk to me.” Virgil said, and he looked so heartbroken.

Roman laughed, loud and hard. Virgil just looked so confused.

“You are such a fucking idiot sometimes Hot Topic,” Roman said in between laughing.

Virgil still looked confused.

“Why the hell wouldn’t I want to marry you, Virge? I proposed to you.” Roman teased.

“But you just had a panic attack on our wedding day. “ Virgil said skeptically and Roman’s smile fell.

“Yeah, but it’s not you,” Roman said, “I thought my family would come to our wedding but,” Roman closed his eyes, and Virgil rubbed his back.

“They’re not coming,” Roman finished.

“Fuck them,” Virgil said bluntly.

Roman let out a soft laugh, and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Just listening to the other’s heartbeat. The silence was never awkward between the two of them. They would spend hours together on the couch cuddling or working on their respective projects at their dining room table.

Roman doesn’t know what he did to deserve this. No one except Remus has ever put up with his panic attacks, let alone made an effort to calm him down. It was hard to trust Virgil, to let down his iron-clad walls. The first time Roman had an attack in front of his boyfriend, Virgil accidentally made it worse because Roman was so worried about disappointing him.

It turned out that Virgil got panic attacks too and was also trying to hide them in an effort not to appear weak. Slowly but surely the two of them got better at asking for help and had a 100% success rate at calming the other down. Roman calmed down the quickest with physical comfort while Virgil liked to talk through his problems. The two of them were so different, yet they just worked. Everything just sucked a little less when they were together.

But just as Roman finally felt calm he heard shouted outside the door and jerked forward.

“That’s my brother in there you asshole! Let me in unless you want your nose broken pretty boy!” A voice snarled from outside the door.

_Remus._

His brother was here.

A few seconds later Emile slid into the room and Remus was close behind him.

“Roman I am so sorry he just,” Emile started, but Remus barged in.

He was wearing an immaculate pinstripe stripe suit. His hair was spikey and bright green. He looked like he was ready to murder several people.

“What the fuck Roman?” Remus snapped.

Virgil stepped in front of Roman and Roman closed his eyes waiting for the insults.

_How could you do this to me? Being gay is a sin._

_How could you do this to our parents?_

_It’s just a dumb phase_

_F*g_

“Why the fuck did I learn that you were getting married via a homophobic rant on Facebook dipshit?” Remus demanded. Roman blinked in shocked and Virgil looked unsure about whether or not he was supposed to be ready for a fight or not.

“I-,” Roman says.

_I didn’t know how to tell you_

_I didn’t want you to reject me_

_I couldn’t handle it if you did_

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Roman says finally.

Remus just glares at him and says, “It’s not that hard, just a quick, ‘hey Remus I’m getting married wanna come?”

Virgil stepped toward Remus, and Remus just moved closer, never one to back down from a challenge. “

“Back off dude,” Virgil snapped.

Remus just laughed, “Oh wow Roman this is the man you’re marrying? I never knew you had game!”

Roman’s cheeks went bright red and Virgil’s jaw dropped.

When he finally gathered his bearings, Virgil stuck out a hand, “Virgil Sanders, a pleasure to meet you,” He deadpanned.

“Likewise,” Remus said, shaking Virgil’s hand.

Once Virgil finished sizing Remus up, he was face to face with Roman. And now that his twin was standing in front of him, Roman realized how much he missed him. Losing Remus was like losing a limb, Roman always felt like something was missing. When they were kids they would do everything together. When their parents screamed so loud the walls seemed to shake, they would hide under the covers to see who could make the other laugh more. Remus was the one who told him never to tuck his thumbs when he threw a punch. Roman was the only person who could calm Remus down when he got seriously pissed. The two of them could have entire conversations without saying a word. The idea of leaving Remus was laughable.

But then they went to different colleges. And then Roman started questioning. He didn’t want to tell Remus because what if everything changed? What if the one person who loved him unconditionally stopped? Avoiding Remus just seemed easier. One year passed and then another, and soon it had been eight years since he’d talked to his other half.

“Hey,” Roman said, hoping it would convey all the love he’d never lost.

The look in Remus’ eyes said he’d succeeded because soon he was swept up in a giant hug. Oh, how Roman had missed Remus’ hugs. Virgil’s hugs were amazing, but Remus’ hugs hit differently. Somehow they felt like dancing.

“You’re so dumb Roman,” Remus said into his shoulder, “How could you ever think I was straight?”

Roman laughed, “Yeah people have told me I have no brain cells.”

Remus pulled away slightly and rested his hands on Roman’s shoulders. “So I was thinking,” He said, “That maybe since homophobe 1 and homophobe 2 are MIA, I could walk you down the aisle?”

Remus said it casually, but Roman could tell he wanted to do it. Roman would have said yes right there on the spot, but he and Virgil were planning to walk down the aisle together.

Roman froze, “I’d love to, really Remus, but Virgil and I were planning to-“

“Just let your flaming dumpster fire of a brother walk you down the aisle Princey,” Virgil said, efficiently cutting him off.

“I like him,” Remus said with a smirk.

Suddenly, Roman had to fight back the urge to fight back tears. He never thought this would be happening. The last time he saw Remus he hated the fact that he was gay. He was still trying to date girls, hoping one day the feeling he got when he saw a cute guy would just disappear.

Now, he was getting married to the love of his life, who was a man, and his brother was there to see it. The two most important people in his life were not only in the same room, but they were getting along. If someone had walked up to Roman ten years ago and told him about this day he would’ve laughed in their face.

But this was happening.

“Okay!” Roman said, unable to keep the wide grin off his face.

“Cool,” Virgil said, walking towards the door, “I’ll see you guys out there,” He shot them finger guns before leaving them alone.

Once Virgil had left the room, Remus turned to Roman.

“So,” He said, “You ready to settle down,”

“I am not settling down! I’m still the life of the party!”

“Sure you are _Princey,_ ” Remus said and Roman lightly punched him in the arm.

“You’re a dick,” Roman said bluntly and Remus just winked at him.

Roman loved Emile, but nothing beat his brother.

Remus checked his watch and said, “Okay, looks like it’s time for me to walk the bride down the aisle,” He offered his arm to Roman, and Roman took it.

The wedding venue was small. Roman and Virgil didn’t need that many people so they kept it cozy. The wooden walls of the venue were lined in white fairy lights. Someone had stuck the plastic glow in the dark stars Roman loved so much on the ceiling. At the end of the room stood the officiator, Virgil, Virgil’s brother and best man Logan, and Roman’s best man Emile.

When the music started Roman expected to hear something calm and sweet, instead he got the Avengers theme. It took everything he had now to sprint up to Virgil and kiss him. He can’t believe Virgil remembered that he wanted to walk down the aisle to this song, he mentioned it as a joke on their third date.

When they got to the front of the room, Remus stood next to Emile and Roman was right in front of Virgil. This was it, they were getting _married_.

Virgil took a deep breath and started his vows, while Roman tried his hardest not to start making out with him on the spot.

“Roman, I’m not gonna lie, when I first met you, I absolutely hated you. You were loud and arrogant and the opposite of me. If someone had told me that one day I’d be marrying you, I would have told them to get their eyes checked. But then we became friends. And then I asked you out when I was drunk and was shocked to find out the next morning that you said yes. Asking you out was probably the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire fucking life Roman. I love everything about you. I love the way you’re awake at five in the morning just because you couldn’t wait to write something down. I love the way you always need help. I love how you’re always trying to be a better person. I love the passion you have for life. I love how on our second anniversary you wrote me a 5000 words short story. I love arguing about Disney with you. I love your butt. I’m so so ready to become that gross couple everyone hates because they are so in love. I’m so ready to yell ‘That’s my husband’ every time you do something great, and I’m so ready to make out with you in front of all our friends. I love you so much,” Virgil was tearing up and Roman wanted to laugh and cry, but most of all he really, really wanted to kiss his (almost) husband.

Instead of doing any of any of those things, Roman started his vows, “Unlike you, emo nightmare, I liked you from the second I met you. You always say you’re scared of everything, but you, hot topic, are the bravest person I’ve ever met. You walked into the first day of college wearing a pride pin. I had so much internalized homophobia, but you, JDelightful, refused to not be yourself. You called yourself stupid, but you are without a doubt one of the smartest people I know, and I’ve met your brother. I think I started loving you from the moment I had a panic attack in front of you, strange as that is. You didn’t get mad at me, or call me dumb, or leave. You stayed. You keep staying, and sometimes I still think you’ll leave but you never do. And that’s only one amazing thing about you, Stormcloud. You’re always the most beautiful person in the room wheater you’re wearing a suit or my old sweatpants. You protect the people you love with everything you have. You’re smart and witty, and you never fail to make me laugh. You make me slow down and apricate all the boring things. I want to have so many firsts with you. I wanna go on our first honeymoon and adopt our first dog together. I want to explore the world with you. I wanna critique every Disney movie with you. I want to do it all with you, Virgil. I love you so so much,” Roman said, and damn, could he just kiss Virgil already?

“Roman, do you take Virgil as your husband? Do you promise to love him, in sickness and in health?” The officiator said.

“I do!” Roman said.

“And Virgil do you take Roman as your husband? Do you promise to love him, in sickness and in health?”

“I do,” Virgil said.

“All right, then in the power invested in me by the state of Florida, I now pronounce you, husband and husband,” The officer said. “You may now kiss the groom!”

Roman didn’t waste any time, he just grabbed Virgil’s collar and yanked him down into a passionate kiss. He could hear the people cheering behind them but he didn’t care. Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman’s shoulders to steady him. Oh, Roman would never get tired of kissing Virgil. He wanted to do it again, and again, and again. He never wanted to stop. It didn’t matter that his parents didn’t show up, because his family was right here. He was kissing his amazing husband. His brother and his best friend were standing right by his side. His friend and brother-in-law Logan were there. Family wasn’t always built by blood. Sometimes it was built from the ashes. Sometimes it was built by the broken ones from the ground up. And maybe the homophobes would be knocking at their door tomorrow. Maybe Roman’s parents would publish another string of slurs. But that didn’t matter, because Roman had his family, and nothing could drag them down.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!! 
> 
> Come scream at me on Tumblr @thefingergunsgirl


End file.
